Tuesday, September 27, 2005

the writer: 7 days a week

monday's writer is fair of face
cruising the office like she owns the place
biting feedback just don't seem to faze her
every headline is sharp like RAZOR!

tuesday's writer is full of grace
sure, productivity's slowed to a mediocre pace
but still earnest in her desire to excel
she sucks it up and (kind of) works like hell

wednesday's writer is full of woe
she's feeling downtrodden & rightfully so
that stack of work's piling higher and higher
and they said it would ease up but their pants are on fire!

thursday's writer doesn't have too far to go
but on pizzazz and fake smiles she's running dangerously low
itunes and idle chatter distract her from her tasks
(though she's brainstorming and jamming, if anyone asks)

friday's writer is loving and giving
there's a freakin beer cart - life has to be worth living!
with each lukewarm can, temptation gets stronger
so why not delay those projects just a teensy bit longer?

saturday's writer now has to work hard for a living
she's got two brochures to write & that headache aint forgiving
but she manages to stifle that voice that says, "screw it"
and instead, sits down and gets right to it

because you see, the writer who works on the sabbath day
gets way more than she does in terms of pay.

Monday, September 26, 2005

realization couplet

dear me, maybe this wasn't the smartest time
to wear a shirt that says "i'm rocking on your dime"

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

i wish

i wish i was a little bit taller
i wish i was a baller
i wish that i had more in my account than a dollar
i wish that this apple and my mood were less sour
i wish arrested development was on for more than half an hour
i wish i had a sound career adviser
i wish bud really made me wiser
i wish i could travel for a living
i wish every weekend was thanksgiving
i wish my work was done instead of this day
i wish there'd be a slight increase in my pay
i wish this poem had any sort of flow
i wish i had more inspiration than quoting cee-lo.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


when will i get my annual review?
it's been like three weeks since it was due
as inner rage turns to outer
my complaints couldn't be louder
and still it aint going through.

see, i'm dying to be critiqued by the masses
morbid curiousity grows as each day passes
will they say that i'm good?
they sure as hell should!
this process is slower than the slowest molasses.

when will i get it? probably never
i'll just have to be thankful for the best! job! ever!
i guess co-workers opinions don't really matter these days
& it's not like i was going to get a good raise anwyays
i'll just have to be content with being poor but clever.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

meet your meeting maker

oh how i dream of a day without meetings
they fill me with agony, horror and woe
over them i'd take lectures! detentions and beatings!
off to the guillotine i'd happily go

take one drab boardroom with uncomfortable chairs
add a dreary and endless itinerary
throw in a bunch of creatives, putting on airs
and one fool chatting on like a coked up canary

mix in a few blackberries buzzing like flies,
awkward silences you could cut with a butter knife
stir in some sighs, yawns and a couple glazed eyes
half-bake into the most tedious hour of your life.

oh how i dream of a day without meetings
though reality brought me ten (count 'em!) ten today
but i shan't let the dullness of them be defeating
after all, my bills they do pay.

Friday, September 09, 2005

things to do on a friday

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

bad week, badass poem

the halls are quiet, eerily so
a haze of job insecurity settles like dust
tongues are wagging, morale is sagging
this week has been quite a bust.

everyone seems busy but it's such a sham
they're calling up headhunters & contacts galore
resumes are reworked, responsibilties shirked
this week has been such a bore.

and of course the facade of friendly is kept up
our routine pleasantries mask something like hate
egos & careers splatter, as we claw up the ladder
this week just hasn't been great.

the halls are quiet, eerily so
we silently speculate about who else will quit
the atmosphere is heavy & duller than a chevy
hope next week isn't as shit.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

private cancer

A lump and a bump did once appear
They came to your neck and moved in for the year
Said, "we dig the neighborhood, don't we dear?"
So make sickly patient your new career.

Bone marrow poking - it's a biopsy craze
reclining in your purple gown for days & days
who knew you could be examined in so many ways?
will you ever escape this hospital malaise?

So, you got out alright, but you've got to go back
Every other week for a chemical attack
They put a tube in your arm and the world goes black
Check it out, you're the leader of the Hodgkin's pack.

Syringes and swabs round a girl so blue
Fourteen shots of Neupogen just for you
A jab in the belly, a wince, or two
Now throw all the used ones in a needle stew.

There are chunks of hair all over your bed
So you're going bald -- what -- you'd rather be dead?
But some jackass asked you why you wore a napkin on your head
Well, would you prefer to do a combover instead?

You can't get enough of this stuff - you want more!
As you lie, dry-heaving on the bathroom floor
Too bad you can't buy chemo at the corner store
It makes you wonder why you ever liked drugs before.

Eight months have made you chemotherapy pro
So onto the next stage you happily go
Gamma rays give your face an unnatural glow
Perhaps if you're lucky, a third arm you will grow.

And now this bizarre journey pretty much done
& you've got party anecdotes guaranteed to stun
The battle with the bad cells, for now, you have won
This year you had cancer. Now wasn't that fun?