smackberry

they say once you go blackberry
you never go back
and judging by her, I’d agree
her eyes are glazed over
her jaw is slack
but she’s never been so damn happy.

co-habitation

now I’m normally not one to pick up on trends
but lately I’ve noticed a doozy
a fad sweeping the nation (or rather, my friends)
and truthfully I find it snoozy.

yes, living in sin is totally in
and they’re all shacking up with each other
but I’ve got to admit, I’m just not into it
(yeah, I know I sound like my mother).

what is it with this, this domestic bliss?
this IKEA-nic, grown-uppity living?
ok, there’s less rent and more time to kiss
but for every hit there’s a shattering miss
so, still I’ll look on with misgiving.

death of a salesy-man

when irritating marketing guy
in meetings won’t stop talking
i often dream up ways he’ll die
(i know it’s rather shocking).

perhaps a piece of jargon will
crush him to pulpy quiet
or a cliché might sneak up and kill
his desire to yap up a riot.

a buzzword might sting his rosy cheek
stun him into glazed submission
or an angry swarm of business speak
leave him in stable (but silent) condition.

i realize all this sounds rather morose
but frankly, no one should be that verbose.