hey fattie, pass the slim gyms

for fifteen bucks a month i get towels every day
they're standard issue white, though not overly fluffy
but they get the job done (ie wipe sweat away)
on my road to becoming slightly less puffy.

the gym is my escape, my oasis! my haven!
i dream of alone time with the ellipitcal machine
now i need not resist when gumdrops i am cravin'
on my road to becoming stupendously lean.

nothing's better than that convivial locker room chatter
between half naked college students & old jewish ladies
later i might bathe in deep fried cookie batter
i'm on the road to becoming hotter than hades

working out works out all the work-related junk
reps are my buddies! the bench press my best friend!
so i'll put on my headphones and blare me some Crunk
and happily rock out down a road with no end.